How many times in your life have you missed out on an incredible opportunity because of fear? Sometimes we never get to reach our full potential in various aspects in our life, because we succumb to feelings of fear, and end up sabotaging our chances in actualising our aspirations. Many people will self sabotage by shying away from golden opportunities, so that they are able to protect themselves from potential disappointment.
Delimit yourself from historical patterns of self sabotaging behaviour by putting these below steps into action.
Analyse the ‘Why’
Before you can make changes towards breaking your self sabotaging habits, it’s vital that you become aware of why you succumb to such behaviour. For me, I like to sit down with a notepad and firstly list out what I want to achieve in life, and accept that these goals ought to correlate with my overarching life values and personal priorities. Once the list is completed, I analyse where I currently am in terms of achieving things outlined on my list, and reflect on whether I am materialising my goals to the best of my abilities. In completing this exercise, you may come across some confronting truths, which may uncover areas in your life where self sabotaging has become normalised. In such instances, be sure to ask yourself ‘why do you choose to shy away and impair the chances you may have for growth and achievement?’. Analysing the ‘why’ will greatly help you understand and uncover significant ways to stop self sabotaging your dreams and personal aspirations.
Be Kind to Yourself
Especially if self sabotaging behaviour has been a part of your life for a long time, being kind to yourself can be a difficult thing to put into practice. If you grew up in space where you constantly were told that you were “too ugly” or “too stupid”, being able to self love and put yourself in a positive light may be a challenge. Not being able to see yourself as the intelligent, creative, and beautiful individual that you truly are, will greatly affect your self worth, confidence and in turn, affect how the world sees you. While being kind to yourself doesn’t come naturally to some, it is a critical component in ending self sabotage. Many of us choose to self sabotage because we don’t believe that we are ‘good enough’, or believe that others out there deserve success more than we do. It is the individuals that choose to be kind to themselves, and treat their self with love and respect, that are able to overcome fear and walk confidently towards their dreams.
Surround Yourself with People Who Lift You Up
If you spend most of your time with people who continue to bring you down, of course you’re going to be lacking in self worth and lack the confidence needed to make your dreams a reality. Being able to source your community, and surround yourself with supportive people, who are going to cheer on your achievements, is critical in overcoming self sabotaging behaviours. In surrounding yourself with people who genuinely want to see you become the greatest version of yourself, you’ll be more open to getting out of your comfort zone to complete whatever it takes to fulfill your personal aspirations and dreams. Your courage to explore the unknown, and take risks, will be far more stronger than your desire to stay paralysed within your haven of comfort.
“Regret Is Scarier Than Change.”
I have the above quote as my phone wallpaper. There have been a multitude of situations in my life where I look back and wished I had garnered enough courage to follow through with an action, which could have drastically affected me, in relation to accomplishing something great and beautiful. This does not mean that I an ungrateful for where I am today, nor does it mean that I am unhappy with my current situation, but it does make me wonder whether I could have achieved something more.
It’s overwhelming to comes to terms with the idea that sitting in regret is a much more daunting experience than having the ability to be courageous, for even 5 seconds, to complete a life-altering gesture. The next time you find yourself in a place where you have the ability to take a giant leap towards your dreams, but are feeling scared and overwhelmed, pause and think about your future self. If you don’t follow through with this amazing opportunity, do you think Future You will be filled with regret (and even frustration) over not even trying?
Whether you sabotage yourself with binge eating, not taking enough risks, or ignoring important emails and phone calls, I hope that you know that you have the power to break your delimiting patterns of self sabotage. Practice the above tips, and you will be on the right track towards making self sabotaging a thing of your past.
