Say you’re looking to start your own business or change your career. You probably have a good idea about what you would like to be aiming for. You are running for a goal, but along the way, you may be tempted to seek out the advice of friends and family. This is a natural reaction to have. To want the advice of those in your life, and seek the validation that you are doing the right thing. But when you are racing for a goal, stopping to seek validation all the time may just distract you from your objective.
It can slow you down, make you doubt yourself, or even make you give up entirely.
A few months back, I was taking some time out to watch the excellent documentary series called ‘The Defiant Ones’. It chronicled the rise and rise of music titans Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre. Amongst the decades long story, one part really stuck with me.
Jimmy Iovine was saying that the reason horses have those blinders on is to stop them getting distracted by other horses and camera flashes. Because when you get distracted, even for a second, you can miss a step, and fall completely off course.
He went on to say that these are what humans need: blinders. When you are running for a goal, you don’t want to keep stopping to say “what does this person think, what does that person think?”
To be successful, it is better to think, “No. Go.”
When we want to achieve something, it is incredibly easy to get excited about the opportunities it may lead to. We are keen to work hard on making our dreams come to life, and willing to sacrifice the short term, if it translates to long-term happiness. However, there are influences in our lives which may serve to create doubt and slow you down. These undesirable influencers can make your blinders come off, and prevent you from achieving your goal. Below are a few tips to make sure your blinders stay on:
Do Not Seek Validation from Others
If you require validation from another person, in order to keep focused on a task, it is likely that this task is not something you truly desire. When we truly want something, we do not need the validation from others to know that we are on the right course. Partners, colleagues, friends and family are all great examples of this. They care about you and want you to be happy, but they do not always share your dreams. In some situations, they may even disregard your aspirations as nothing more than a passing interest. Do not let people make your dreams feel invalid.
Resist Instant Gratification
It can be tempting to tell those around you about all the great projects you are putting into action. But by telling people about what you are planning on doing, you are triggering the reward impulses in your brain. These reward impulses are activated when someone says “that sounds amazing!”. If you are feeding your brain the rewards it needs, without having to do any work, then you have much less incentive to knuckle down and actually do the work. Similarly, resist the urge to focus too much on the things in life that are going to make you feel good right away. It may feel good at the time, but it will only serve to delay you in achieving what is truly desired.
Haters Gonna Hate
No matter how much you may think to the contrary, sooner or later, you are going to come up against someone who simply doesn’t like your goal or dream. It could be someone close to you or, as is becoming more common, a stranger on the internet. People may say things to you that cut deep, or make you question why you are bothering to work hard in the first place. It can rip your blinders off and make you easily influenced by others around you. Next thing you know, your dreams are in the bin, never to be looked at again.
If you remember one thing, remember this: criticism from others is most often a reflection of their own insecurities.
It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.
It may be scary to throw yourself into achieving your dreams, it’s a lot of hard work and risk. But remember this, change hurts less than regret.
